Current mood:

relieved

I feel it all
I don't know what I knew before
But now I know I wanna win the war

Why do government documents arriving in the mail give me such palpitations? I would love to know. Is it because I believe stone-faced men in suits and dark glasses will remove me to a secret torture chamber and make me do algebra if I don't fill out the forms correctly? Am I afraid that a mistake I make will come back to haunt my boss, who is really a dear, charming man, in twenty years? Do I fear it will affect my credit score, my job, my firstborn child? Are they analyzing my handwriting for hidden criminal urges? All I know is, my heart races when I see that EDD or IRS logo, my palms sweat, my face gets hot, and I have an uncontrollable desire to hide under this oaken fortress they call a desk.

And therefore, when I screw up the courage to call after receiving an unseasonable notice (double palpitations), and I'm told that the check crossed it in the mail and yes, they have their money, and no one's kneecaps are in danger, and everything is fine, can I be blamed for hanging up the phone and yelling, Good night Philadelphia! We love you!