Current mood:

piratical

who you callin' scurvy?
YYEEAAAARRRRRGHHH! ALL HANDS!

Arr, that be a mite better. 'Tis a long dry spell atween Talk Like a Pirate Days, eh lads? An' ye know yer Cap'n Penny hates a dry spell. Let's have a round o' rum, Smee.

WHAT? THE RUM IS GONE?

Why is the rum always gone?

Oh, I was a-sittin' on the last barrel, was I? I'd harrrdly noticed. Ye know me bum's made o' teak since that little spat wi' them scurvy frogs o' Calais, aye? Can't feel a thing, listen here! But bum o' teak or no, I find meself drawn to this barrel, Smee...I loves this barrel. I'm a-thinkin' it's because the blighter's full o' me favorite drink--ye reckon? Let's tap 'er an' wet our sorry whistles! ARR!

This be a very special piratical holiday, me hearties, me own lads. Indeed, it do. Draw yer poxy, listin' arses in close, ye dogs, an' yer Cap'n Penny'll tell ye why.

Some years agone now, while no doubt some o' ye scrogs was still a-clingin' to yer mammy's skirts, one fierce an' mighty Cap'n Beatrice Pegleg did engage wi' the dreaded Filthy Dave Cutty. Nay, nay, lads, 'twere no battle o' cannon an' steel--'twere love what brought these scallywags to heel!

Lads, if ye could see yer faces...I know ye was hopin' fer blood, but be sure, any whoreson so unlucky as to cross one o' these blaggards would be knowin' the color o' his own! 'Tis a weddin' they're havin', me mallocks, an' ye're all to be on yer best behavior an' do yer Cap'n Penny proud, ye hear? Sink me if we won't be there to celebrate along with 'em, and sink me twice if we miss the pre-party a-happenin' tonight! So polish yer boots, comb yer hair, an' do somethin' about them stains--Jones bein' on galley duty ain't no excuse fer the food-fight last night, an' I'll keel-haul the lot o' ye if I must to make ye presentable!

Step lively now! We sail tonight for Orick!

ARRRRRRRRR!