hoist with her own petard

change in the wind

2010-08-13T16:36:33Z

Simon and I are peacefully spooned and sleeping in. (He is the cuddliest of the cats. Felix never really got the hang of sitting on people in a relaxed and painless way, and Angus is still too full of the energy of youth to chill out properly.)

The baby kicks Simon. Simon raises his head for a moment, puzzled, then settles back to sleep.

The baby kicks him again. He raises his head and looks around, then settles.

The baby gives him one more good kick. He starts out of his doze and gives me a bewildered look, as if to say, Woman, what have you been eating?

We have (probably) less than a month to go...I wonder how the guys are going to react to having a new and mysteriously preferred contender for lap time.

identity theft

2010-05-10T21:19:34Z

Hey, dumbass. Before you try to use my debit card number to buy a large item from a company I've never heard of, how about making sure there's enough money in my account to cover it? And the international purchase fee and the overdraft fee and the account fee? If you hadn't overdrawn me, this might have gone unnoticed for DAYS. But I see red numbers and I flip the hell out.

Also, before you try to use my debit card number? Please go die in a fire. Thank you.

really?

2010-05-06T22:04:06Z

There's only one line into the office of the California Secretary of State? REALLY?

(busy signal)

(busy signal)

(busy signal)

dying arts

2010-04-29T22:49:41Z

Traditional hand-crafting is dying out in England, and there doesn't seem to be any sort of system in place to preserve it.

At first I thought: how, in this day and age of hobbyists, recreationists, and greater ease in pursuing obscure crafts than ever before, is this happening?

The hobbyists and recreationists mostly aren't pursuing those obscurities as careers, is the answer. And the Internet may make more information more available to more people than ever in human history, but how many of those people (like me) keep "meaning" to take up some kind of craft and never find the time, or don't have access to a community or teachers, or think it's simply too much trouble? Out of those who surmount all those obstacles, how many would be willing to try doing it for a living, with the field endangered as it is, with no promise of fame or fortune and no guarantee of job security?

It's dismaying that apprenticeship is not being used to preserve this, and other skills. Are interns the new apprentices? Aren't there a lot of jobs out there that can't be learned through theory and instruction alone? There's got to be some way that people are learning to run machinery and make things and maintain physical systems. Maybe they're just not called "apprentices" anymore, but going through the same process.

The cynical side of me worries that when civilization collapses, no one will know how to hand-turn bowls or make barrels or scissors!

fwhooooooo

2010-04-21T20:26:16Z

It's very windy here. Stupid power flickers, all I want to do is see pictures of Emily's children. Can you allow that please?

Should have brought some kind of low-tech entertainment. Book, jacks, needlepoint.

grar, sniff?

2010-04-01T23:53:21Z

It's the first, again, and fortunately none of the tenants have tried to play a "I decided not to pay rent this month APRIL FOOLS!" joke on me. Because it makes me ragey just to have to sit here and deal with them without the humor, thanks. That is nothing new. But what IS new is, today I gave Bossman a departure date. May 14.

How lovely to think of being able to travel and sleep in and keep the house clean and garden and so on.

But how depressing to think of not being this spunky, valued, competent Girl Friday anymore. I've done pretty well here. And now I'm going to let that go.

The choice was: keep working and funnel all the money I made to daycare, not getting to hang out with my kid, or stop working and get to hang out with the kid. It's a no-brainer. But it's bittersweet.

a bit of a stretch

2010-03-29T20:15:34Z

I subscribe to the newsletter of an online wine dealer because we got all excited about wine while in Australia last year. The usual pompous "full-bodied with a cherry finish and hints of walnut and rose" sort of description was a little far-fetched, perhaps, but I could wrap my mind around it. Sure. Hints of walnut, I get that. Maybe. (swirl, sniff, sip)

How, though, can a wine be "angular"? I think the shark has been jumped.

nostalgia

2010-03-12T22:01:19Z

Paddle to the Sea was one of my favorite stories as a child. It also taught me how to tell the Great Lakes apart. (Note to self: must find copy so as to inflict story on Noodle.) It is probably also a source of my intense dismay at the thought of things that are small and lost, because Paddle went through some pretty rough stuff in there, but that's my fault, not Holling's.

How delightful to happen across this today after not having thought of Paddle in years.

unhappy hipsters

2010-03-10T22:17:27Z

I think I'm in love.

Like spiders, Republicans, and patchouli incense, contemporary design is something that is simply not allowed in my home. Except in this deliciously cutting manner.

white paint by any other name would still be white.

2010-03-09T22:55:46Z

The Deutsch and I decided that the remodeled bathroom would be white. White to show off the lovely colors in the slate shower and the ash vanity and contrast with the dark gray grout between the Arctic White hex tiles on the floor. I knew there was a bewildering blizzard of "white" paints out there, so I planned to neatly sidestep the question by asking for "plain white". Primer white. Whitewash white. The white that sits there patiently in all those gallon cans lined up on racks in the hardware store, waiting to be blended with a few drops of color to become one of the fancy-pants whites. I knew this would not be easy, and I would be scoffed at, and there would need to be some perseverance. I wanted to be like Sue in The Interior Life, bend the paint-counter guy to my will, and paint the walls a color that would provide a perfect setting for the furnishings and fixtures for which we are paying through the God damned nose.

I was nixed on this by the Deutsch, who informed me that that base white is not necessarily what I think it is--any thoughts on this, dear reader?--and brought me a selection of paint chips. Mind you, this is only a selection:

Mayonnaise
White Blush
Capri Coast
Indian White
Moonlight White
Easter Lily
White Chocolate
Minced Onion
Mountain Peak White
Cotton Balls
Bavarian Cream
Alpine White
Winter White
Calm
Classic Gray (this is a white?)
Winds Breath
Titanium
November Rain
Intense White
Gray Owl

Those are just the WARM ones. From ONE brand.

Horizon
White Wisp
Paper White
Moonshine
White Heron
White Ice
Vanilla Milkshake
Icicle
White Diamond
Baby's Breath
Winter Snow
Pure White (it looks slightly gray to me, but maybe that's just snowblindness on my part)
Chantilly Lace
Snow White
Ice Mist
Distant Gray

OH MY GOODNESS. We are not through yet:

Calm Beige
Linen
Birch Park
Classic Coral
Algonquin
Chinchilla
Micro Tan
Premier Peach
Somoya
Distant White
Casa Blanca
Bone White
Antique White
Light Navajo White
Fine China
Beachside
Contemporary White (that's right out)
White Mosaic
Dusty Ivory
High Hiding White (intriguing)
St. Cloud
Gentle Buff
Safe 'n Sound
Quiet White
Gently Gray
Heavenly Sand
Savannah
White Marsh

(huff huff)

They're...closing in...I feel so...deliciously warm...maybe I'll just sit and...rest for a minute...

Props to the Yarn Harlot, who handled this elegantly by asking the paint purveyors at her local store to just choose one, until they caved and sold her a random white, a white so minutely different from all the other whites that her confidence that it wouldn't matter was vindicated. If I get too much guff from the local guys, I may go this route.

MOTD

2010-02-19T22:07:45Z

Moron: Hi, you have a house for sale on N Street?
Cranky Desk Monkey (acting on the assumption that this caller, like many, many others, has mistaken us for a residential real estate agency): Yes, we do, but it's actually a commercial property. I believe it's zoned Office.
Moron: Yes, I'm aware of that. I just want to know how much you're asking for it.

If you were aware that it wasn't a house, why did you CALL IT A HOUSE?

Let's give a big hand to today's featured Moron!

Little irritations really accrete over time, don't they? (And while I'm at it, LiveJournal, why doesn't your spellchecker admit the verb "accrete"?) I guess the silver lining to having had the I'm Leaving Talk with Bossman in an impromptu, blurty sort of way the other day is that I can now grit my teeth and think of June.

Grit, grit, grit. June, June, June.

schneptune @ 2010-02-17T13:30:00

2010-02-17T21:30:36Z

When we dug up the baby lemon tree from the wine barrel we were leaving at the old apartment, we weren't quite sure where to put it at the new house, so we stuck it in a five-gallon bucket with an Aquaglobe, put it in the biggest sunny window, and haven't really gotten around to figuring out where that sunny happy citrus-friendly spot is.

Today three blossoms opened and the rec room smells like the fields of Heaven.

Hooray for procrastination!

breather

2009-12-30T23:31:58Z

Today I met a man called Roar the Viking King.

All else is onlie Mud and Crabbes, and I will not bore you with it.

I'll be ~~having a nervous breakdown~~ hosting a party and moving stuff for the rest of the week, so Happy Early New Year.

merry

2009-12-25T19:41:56Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zMhSjDqvRs&feature=related

Peace on Earth, and goodwill to everyone.

/boggle

2009-11-13T19:20:18Z

Jeph Jacques apparently knew me in college, or stalked me, or something? Or else I am a more common weed than I thought.

/sad schneptune face

The house is on record. We have closed. The Deutsch and I are homeowners.

/HAPPY SCHNEPTUNE FACE

art and teeth

2009-11-04T22:35:30Z

Two things:

http://artbloom.net/der-shing-helmer/

I still draw like the ones on the left, but there is hope. This expresses the "no, I'm not some kind of super genius, just someone who kept drawing, and you can too" thing so much better than I've managed over the years.

and, I have a cavity. A CAVITY.

It's kind of exciting, actually. Novel. I've never had one before. All my life I have gone into the dentist's office and heard things like "perfect" and "there's no justice", but today, in addition to that, I also heard "undermined" and "drill". I hadn't been near the profession for six years. Guess it serves me right.

The roofers started today! Probably the Deutsch and I are going to buzz the house after work and see how they are doing. Our neighbors are going to be thoroughly tired of us before we even move in.

Abundance of onion crunched together

2009-10-30T21:03:03Z

I always want curry on my birthday. Something about the cold weather and the colors of turning leaves.

What do you like on your birthday? Something recurrent, or just whatever you're craving at the moment?

lunch bag art

2009-10-30T18:24:40Z

GO SEE THE ART

HE DID A "TWO HEARTS" BAG

HE FIXED ROMEO & JULIET

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

I think this house-buying process may finally have broken me. (We signed disclosures this morning)

Nevertheless, if he ever does Sirius & Malta I may have to seek this man out and marry him by force. Even if he's already married like I am. We could all live in Utah or something and fill our lives with art.

Yeah?

house house house

2009-10-09T17:10:12Z

Today I will be given the keys...and we haven't even officially pended yet.

(To let in the pest inspection guy on Sunday, while the selling realtor's having an open house and Bossman is out of town. But still. EHEHEHEHE)

I lay awake last night staring at the ceiling.

That's a lot of money every month.

We could do our own laundry. At HOME. Whenever we like.

It needs a new oven.

I wonder if that nice little greenhouse-thing in the kitchen window actually leaks.

There's an oak floor under the carpet in the living room.

What if the pest guy finds a lot of damage?

We could paint the rooms...any color. I could paint things on the walls and they'd stay.

That's a lot of money every month.

We need to pack.

Pay the PG&E bill tomorrow...make sure it's up to date.

What if something breaks? We'll have to fix it.

Where are those poems by Ogden Nash...?

Nothing unusual, no doubt. But new. Frightening and exciting.

autumn

2009-09-30T21:44:39Z

A beautiful girl just walked in to pay her rent, bringing autumn with her. It had been lingering in the corners of my perception all day...ever since my delicate hothouse blossom of a husband woke up this morning and scrambled to turn the heater on and stand shivering before it...but it clung to her tall slender frame, the luxurious fall of brown curls down her back; it swirled in her brown skirts and gray sweater-coat; it shone from her freckled skin and the crispness of her blue eyes. Now it hangs in the air: a cool, crackling dryness with a promise of spicy cold. It's here at last.

bah

2009-09-28T20:14:37Z

The sellers are being...unreasonable. In several ways. Clearly, they aren't desperate to sell, and yet, from some hints we've gleaned about their situation, they may be trying to milk this deal for every last penny with more than usual fervor. Bossman says our terms are too far from theirs to do any negotiating at this point, and we're at a dead end.

Externally, I am trying to dismiss it and move on, shrugging off all the excitement, hope, and plans.

Internally I am indulging in a full-on Veruca Salt tantrum complete with screaming and throwing things and jumping up and down.

Looks like we won't be getting that fat tax credit after all.

Feh.

52/50

2009-09-22T16:29:45Z

WHY did I not post this before? Excuse me while I give myself a good kicking.

Do you enjoy anything Peter Beagle has ever written? If you've met me, you may, because I've been recommending him to anyone who would listen for years (thank you, Know Knew Books, for being my soapbox for a bit). Right now he's working on a Project, the 52/50 Project. This is him producing a new song lyric or poem every week for a year, to celebrate being in the business 50 years. This is wonderful. This helps him pay his bills. This costs $25 for the entire year (and if you subscribe late, you get back-issues). This is ridiculously cheap to share in the creative process, the thoughts, the history, the beautiful way this man puts words together. It's small, personal, interactive. You can even make subject suggestions he might use in a future piece. I cannot say enough good things about it.

So go and read about the Project, and get in on this, because the getting, it is good.

Angus

2009-09-21T22:47:53Z

We were at the Farm Store last Sunday, minding our own business, and I turned around and saw him in the cage, and before we knew it we were on our way home with a borrowed carrier in the back seat.

He is five months old, long and lithe as a mink, with round eyes the color of a ripening pumpkin. His fur is fine and silky, all black except for a few white hairs on his tail and belly; the area between his eyes and ears is so sparse that it looks bare from the right angle. His little head is round and hard as a marble, pushing up into the palm of the hand, and his purr is loud because there isn't much cat between it and the world. His big ears swivel like satellite dishes, set with waving wisps. His expressive tail arches up over his back when he stretches and arches in challenge when he skitters sideways, trying to get the other cats to play. (The other cats are not amused.) He has a long aquiline nose with one little extra whiskerlet on each side, poking out at an angle like tiny antennae. He is brave and tireless and clumsy-deft in the manner of kittens, so careful with his claws that I thought at first he'd been declawed. Right now he's extremely bored because Felix and Simon think he is just a new and larger breed of flea, and the Deutsch can't get up for very long at a stretch to play with him. (He's doing great recovering from hernia surgery but he's not yet up to standing around waving a string for long.) At lunch Felix perched on top of a thigh-height bookcase looking disgusted while Angus scrummed around the bottom, tumbling end over end and trying to look fierce. I introduced him to Christmas string this weekend and he thinks it's the best thing ever.

I'd forgotten how energetic kittens are. He's tiring me out with all the zooming around and the mewing and the constant demand for attention. He's lovely...I'm so glad we found him.

dramaaaaaaaaaa...aaaaaa...aa

2009-09-17T19:01:59Z

So we've been enduring the bitchy leadership of one sucky druid on raids for months. MONTHS. This guy can do one thing, and only one thing, well: show up and order people around. He doesn't necessarily know the fights, he's not particularly open to alternate strats or suggestions, he won't delegate responsibility, he plays favorites, and he has absolutely no talent for boosting morale or keeping the pissy disappointment out of his voice when we wipe. We put up with him because he SHOWS UP and does it unfailingly. That much I will give props for. Big, burly props. I know raid leadership is hard. But that doesn't mean get all snide when we don't dance well enough to the tune, you know?

Last night he left the guild in the wake of some of our better raiders who had had enough of him and our lack of progression, taking a couple other good raiders with him. I'm sad about that, because when someone leaves the guild like that, without giving much of a reason, they're kind of dead to me. I'm not going to harass them, or even /ignore them, just kind of...act like they're not there.

Now he's going to join another guild, where he has no rank or power, and he's going to be put in his God damned place. So ha ha ha, and FUCK YOU MERLE.

That is all.

bringing the deeps

2009-09-04T18:08:07Z

So we did VoA on Wednesday night, followed by ToC25. I was the only hunter; my more sagittipotent comrades were all absent. So I tried to remember to mark and misdirect and do the best dps I could, because I needed to represent, right? even though I am teh BM failhunter and rarely break 3k. We downed Koralon, which was exciting, and I got pants and gloves (because it was me or the shard pile), which was also exciting.

And somehow, over the course of the night, I averaged just over 4k damage and spiked to 6k on a couple of fights.

BKAWK??

The core raiders were all having a good hard doubletake over that too, one of them told me when I asked if he'd had a meter up. The parse got screwed up somehow and only showed Emalon, which is tragic because now I can't figure out exactly what I was doing right. I have a feeling that maybe it was just all the standing still, which favors hunters. Elec and his Sniper Training would probably have done, like, 7k. But I would really like to know for sure so I can do it again.

If I understood the tag system, this would get tagged WoW. But I don't.